Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Wandering Thoughts

I’ve spent a lot of time lately mulling over whether or not I want to continue with this blog. It is something I have been thinking about in silence until now. Firstly, all the work I have put into keeping this blog rolling hasn’t scratched the itch it was intended to. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, my spiritual world has been shifting a lot lately and I find myself in territory I am unfamiliar with. This of course is not a bad thing; it just means that I have been more focused on delving deeper in those areas.

Tomorrow, I turn thirty. Yep, thirty. In the days still remembered by our Grandfathers and Grandmothers, this would put me at the mid-point in my life. With the advancement of modern technology, this is no longer the case. Astrology teaches that I am now in the time of my Saturn return, and I certainly feel it. Modern psychology also nicely synchronizes meaning with this threshold time, apparently thirty is a time of deep reflection whereby the course of the life having been built is before us and can be seen, for better or for worse. I am not bent out of shape or anything but as with any threshold, the pull of both sides of that point are felt. Change has arrived.

Maybe it is the being at this threshold of which I speak, which has brought about where my heart lay as of late. For years, I have gathered, worked, and scoured through countless amounts of information on all things even slightly related to the modern Contemporary Pagan movement. My thirst has been unquenchable. All it would take to send me into a spiral of fervent research, reflection, and application via experience was a hint of related meaning suggested through off-handed comments or the appearance of similarity regardless of whether it was true or not. I have belonged to, been trained by, and been affiliated with more groups than I think I could honestly list if I tried.

My eternal seeking hasn’t gone away, just shifted. For example, I probably have learned and worked with a dozen different models of the directions and correspondences. Now only extend that to tons and tons of other such topics. I now find I am no longer in any rush to learn another, I’m kinda done with all that. Instead of continuing to learn new ways of doing things, that I already know how to do, I am just gonna play this game here for awhile and stop jumping from one to another. On that note, I might even stay in the same field for awhile.

As for the blog? We will see. Today at least, it serves as different purpose than the one for which it was created.

The Moon is reflected in the Silvered-Well from which the Tree of our Heart grows, which holds up the Starry Heavens and whose roots extend into the Forges below.

Boidh se!

-Spanish Moss

"Lost in a thicket bare-footed upon a thorned path."


thalia said...

I know of this feeling in which you speak. It's this shift from learning to doing, from taking in to sitting with, from embracing to existing.

It's a good thing and if you decide to continue your blog, I look forward to reading your journey. I think it would be amazing to see you internalize all the training and learning and reading, stew on it and boil it down, and what comes through on the other side is bound to be amazing.

Water Witch said...

I just turned 29, 11 days ago, I understand that strange pull of the Saturn return, I read your blog, and what ever you decide to do, keep doing it, you are a huge asset to our Tradition, and community.

"Crossroads" Joe Carriker said...

While there is something to be said for exploration and discovery, if you want to dig a deep well, sometimes you need to just stand and one place and work there for a while.

Regardless, I'm deeply grateful for that urge in you to keep searching. Without it, I might never have had such a Brother of Arte as I have in you.

SquirrelHead said...

I enjoy your blog for it has made me think of things I proabably would not had before.But you can only do what is right for you to do.As you once told me we all walk this path but we can only walk our on path by ourselves.Will be waiting to see if I have more to read and think about.

GreenFlame said...

Even at the best banquet, sometimes you have to stop nibbling, and just let the food digest. Much love to you.

Anonymous said...

Yes, there is a time to eat food others serve (initiations) and a time to digest it and a time to grow your own. The woods and nature are your best teacher above all others. My 30s were a wonderful time, so blessings to you.