A Tale of Fantastical Beasts

Some of my Coven-mates have a running joke about me, which I love for its wit, humor, and silliness for which they are known to engage in on occasion. It is something I have brought up in conversation with other friends of mine almost anytime the conversation turns to raising children. As I have mentioned, I have kids and am raising them involved in spirituality. I think it is a disservice not to; the trick is to let them lead and not to force their path, beliefs, or ideas. A very difficult line to walk, but one I am willing to attempt to do so. But I digress. It is also well known that I am a second generation Contemporary Pagan myself, which brings us to the joke.

There are not many second-generationers in my age group. Oh, we exist, I am proof of such and I know a handful of others. So the joke is that when I am in a group of Contemporary Pagans, that I am like some mysterious unheard of creature… like a unicorn… just hanging out in the room trying to ‘fit in.’ Unless discussion turns towards raising children my uniqueness in that area is not something I notice. Whether we are upon this path because of birth or by conversion we are all of equal standing and worth; no special status for me just because of the circumstance of blood.

In fact the only time I am ever really aware of any small difference is when it comes to conversion stories. Most Contemporary Pagans have one. For some it is a slow meandering wondering where they just landed upon our little island in the sea of spirituality, and for others it is a cataclysmic storm that cast them ashore soaked, shivering, and with nothing but memories of the turmoil that cast them overboard. These stories are a bonding point around which our community grows from and shares. It has been this way for a long time, but it is changing. I have no story and neither do my kids or the many kids I see running amuck at festivals. I’m just going to say we as a community have this whole fertility religion thing down.

I’m not upset about not having a story. I am happy not having one, and if ever I have one then I will be happy with it and the journey that lead me astray. It happens. Life happens. I have elders, from who I learned about my Gods and Goddesses growing up, who are no longer Contemporary Pagans. I am happy for them. They were called and they answered. May I be so courageous if ever I am called by such unfamiliar voices!

So why then do I bother bringing up the joke and conversion story bit? Because I was reminded of something empowering a couple of days ago in regards to it. I admit that I was schooled by a ten year old girl, who without meaning to gave me a lesson of reflection. As happens from time to time the topic of conversion was brought up and it was pointed out that I was the only one in the group that was not a convert, a unicorn we joked. Nay, we, as adults do far too frequently, had over looked the shop owner’s daughter. Quickly apologies were said and she was declared a member of the unicorn club. However; here is where the schooling took place. She simply stated, “I don’t want to be a unicorn. I’m a dragon.”

In a single instance, I had been handed a tasty morsel of contemplation. We, all of us, you, me, and everyone else too, can choose for ourselves the nature and form for which we want to take. Each of us in our own manner is a fantastical beast from myth and lore. More importantly, we are free to decide which one/s we will be kith and kin to. We can be a dragon, or an ogre, a unicorn, an elf, a goblin, or any other creature of tale, new or old, that allows us to express our inner most selves. This is something I have long known but in that moment it was a lesson in not defining the roles of others but to instead focus upon the wondrous being at our center and to let it shine forth a star.  Together we are a constellation that depicts grand tales across the celestial sea, a reflection of the divine story of our Lady and our Lord. Something the dragon in the room reminded me to remember.

Boidh se!

-Spanish Moss

"Lost in a thicket bare-foot upon a thorned path."

Onion, Parfait, and the Mind: Standing in Oneness

The past couple of days I have been thinking about the relationship between different levels of the mental plane manifesting itself through various filters and with the motif of the greater divine. Let’s compare, badly so, that the mind is like an onion or a parfait if you prefer.

The mind is like an onion or parfait in that it is layered in its perception. Add on top of this a filter, our core mores, hormones, and values, and you have a very complex looking glass by which the Self knows anything, or thinks it knows anything. I did say it was not a perfect model.

By recognizing the fallacy of the model allows us to better combine the overarching truth with the model by which we are able to indulge the logical part of our nature that likes to put everything into neat little boxes. The first major fallacy is the idea that the various layers are set point with clear divisions; they are not. The mind, and the Mental Plane, are spectrums, so the whole onion thing just doesn’t work if we stick too strictly to it. Secondly, the mind has more nuance and complexity than the model allows for. The whole onion thing does, however, give us a mode of talking about it and better grasping things so long as we are willing not to become too rigid and set on it.

Each of the various layers are like different points upon the spectrum of the mind. I am going to very briefly mention four of them. Because they are what I have been thinking about. The rest of that was just me making sure everyone was up to speed.

Let’s pretend that our spectrum onion-mind-thingy is a pillar, which is nothing like an onion at all, but that’ll be okay, it is a bad metaphor to begin with. So the mind pillar’s lowest and most base level is the instinctual level. Note that lowest does not imply less here, just that some random starting point of reference has to be assigned and the bottom of the pillar fits well within our schema of cultural motifs. At this level it is pure instinct that informs us of action, behavior, and existence. Also at this level is any hormones and physicality.

Next up from the bottom is speech. For those that don’t know, it is part of the human condition, even when you can’t talk, to develop methods of communication that become standard within a group. There are cases of deaf children inventing their own sign languages without outside influence that are just as sophisticated as others. Language development is instinctual. Speech is the next level up because we are informed by language in a different manner than that of instinct. Speech tells us different things depending upon which language we speak in internally. For instance, native English speakers when referring to a bed breaking when John was jumping on it is likely to say, “John broke the bed when jumping on it.” Blame is automatically communicated and assumed because of language specifics. Whereas other languages are more prone to phrase the meaning as such, “John was jumping on the bed and it broke.” As you can see the language we speak informs us about the world. It is like a vast symbolic thought process inherent to culture, well it is, and this brings us to the next level—culture.

The next level of the mind is culture. Do I really need to get into how our cultural influences and inform us about the world? I think not; I have more faith in my reader’s abilities.

The top tier is the archetypal level. No matter the culture or language in which we were raised we all know what a mother is. The nuance of that idea and the experience of it may change, sometimes drastically, but it is a universal concept.

Now on to the thought I have been mulling over. In some moments of complete mindfulness and simultaneous surrender thereof we can completely allow the instinctual primal impulsive layer of the mind to act as a vehicle by which we land firmly in the archetypal. I am not arguing this is the preferred method. Just that in some very intense life transforming moments we find ourselves in the instance standing with one foot in the instinctual and one in the archetypal straddling the whole of speech and culture and yet knowing neither in those instances of oneness. I just wanted to say that, as it has taken me a while to come to an articulate place for what before has only been a feeling; but together the two are blessedness. The rest of the blog was just me babbling enough that I felt I could share that tidbit. I hope it makes sense.

Thoughts?

Boidh Se!

-Spanish Moss

"Lost in a thicket bare-foot upon a thorned path."

12-12-12 Madness and Witch Math

I decided to join in on the whole 12-12-12 day repeating fun. I, however, don’t buy the ‘it’s the last repeat’ thing. After all, January 1, 2101 will be a repeat, 01-01-01, in the same way that December 12, 2012 is. For that matter there will be other fun numbers along the way like 5-5-55 and 9-9-99.

But I did say fun right? Just so you know any time I see a small set of numbers, whether a total on a receipt, someone’s phone extension, or a date, my mind automatically starts playing with it in a form of numerology. I did the same when I saw 12-12-12 being talked about on social media.

As a little bit of prep, anytime you see the following numbers read them as this meaning, unless otherwise noted. It helps to have it all memorized as I do.

1=All, Unity

2=Polarity, Duality, the First Number that can be counted as divided, Two Pillars

3=Three Realms, Three Phases of the Moon, Three Faces of our Lady, Illumination

4=Four Directions, Four Elements, Four Cabbalistic Worlds

6=Six Rayed Star, the Sun, Higher Self, Holy Guardian Angel

9=Spiritual Nature of Divine, Our Lady, the Moon, Mystery

12=Signs of Zodiac

Also, forget all that math stuff you learned elsewhere, it does not apply to such. Welcome to Witch Math. Here we go:

12-12-12

=

1+2-1+2-1+2

=

3+3+3

=

9 or three-fold.

So Unity plus Polarity equals the Three Realms (As above so below), our Lady and Our Lord conjoin to make One. In this sequence this Illumination happens once for each Realm or nine times and the Mystery of the Spiritual Nature of Divinity is revealed. Told you it was Witch Math.

12-12-12

=

4+4+4-4+4+4-4+4+4

Better stacked as:

4+4+4

4+4+4

4+4+4

Look at all the ways we can add up 12; up, down, across, and diagonally. The Square of the Zodiac is composed of Three Signs for each of the Four Elements. Note there are 3 rows and three columns whereby the Signs influence the Three Realms. Each Realm is made up of 4+4+4 or better yet, each Realm is realized as the Four Cabalistic Worlds. I sure do love me some Witch Math. Moving on.

Already establishing each grouping of 4 is in 3s. We see our three-fold is in this case a three-fold of four. So 9 (three-fold) of four is 9 times 4 or 36. 36 equals 3=6 or that the Sun and Moon reflect each other, note we are dealing with two numbers (duality) and not just the meaning of each.36 is also 3+6=9 or the Three Realms are composed of six points (look one of those exceptions) around us as the center, remember this seven; these six and three are nine or the nine duille (leaves upon the tree of life) which are also seven in some forms of Trad Craft.

12-12-12

=

3+3+3+3-3+3+3+3-3+3+3+3

Restacked as:

3+3+3+3

3+3+3+3

3+3+3+3

Left to right (or right to left) this adds to 12 or 3 if we 1+2. But we got to 3 by 4, so 3 is broken in four; the Three Realms each has Four Directions or compositions and manifests within the Four Cabalistic Worlds. Also the three makes a line, up and down, and the four becomes four directions horizontally making a sphere. You are looking into the face of existence. 

When adding up and down we get Nine so the Face of Existence as the Three Realms and Four Direction as Manifested in the Cabbalistic Worlds is Mystery of the Spiritual Nature of Divinity.

12-12-12

=

1=2-1=2-1=2

Unity Equals Duality Three Times. The three in this case is ‘the Knowledge of.’ I am = Unity. I am That, That = Oneness with the External Duality. AND three is the Knowledge of I am and I am That conjoined.

Alright, I think that is enough. You get the point. So I do this with numbers a lot, and mostly without thinking about it. Anyway, they are all interconnected. All of them. Now that you have the basics of Witch Math, you can do the same with tomorrow’s date, 12-13-12, which has a whole other secret to be dug up. Did I mention I love me some Witch Math?

Boidh Se!

-Spanish Moss

“Lost in a thicket bare-foot upon a thorned-path.”

Birth Story: Mostly About a Baby

New babies are always a change. It was true when my son was born and my daughter; and it just as true with the very recent birth of my newest daughter. This is the story of the birth, as I saw/see it. Some of what follows is event based and some of it is through the mystic eye of the Witch. Before you dig in, if might be fun to review my last post about babies, birth, and the spiritual sun.

The story of this birth started in March with the onset of spring; which incidentally is associated with the East, the Morning Star (rising Sun), new beginnings, and birth. It started in the spring with the decision to have a third child. Without delay my wife was pregnant; it was like this with both of the other youngens, I can only conclude that she is ultra-fertile. Seeing how we practice a religion that regards fertility very highly, we have no problem with this. As a side note, I underwent a very important initiatory experience in March.

It was only after it was determined that my wife was pregnant and calculated the due date did we realize the close synchronization to the Witches’ Wheel and the lore associated with our Holy Days. I can honestly say that it has given me a unique perspective on the role of our Lord alongside our Lady full in belly. The previous linked to blog post very briefly touches upon this.

~*You are now traveling in time to much more recent events.*~

At the last Esbat I did some work in regards to the impending birth and addition to the family; needless to say my wife has been doing some work as well, but if she chooses to get into any of that it will be her doing. I did two things during the rite, other than devotion work, the first of which left my voice harsh, and the second of which involved empowering a very large white pentagram candle, about 7 inches in diameter, and sealing into the candle the desire until at which time the candle is lit. The candle was dressed in the energies of protection, ease, health, and comfort to both my wife and the at-the-time unborn child. Such was the event the candle was clothed for.

The day before labor two important things occurred. Some very strict boundaries were reinforced for some family that needed to be reminded our house was not at this time an appropriate hotel and party spot. Sometimes such needs to be done. Secondly, I lit a 7-day candle and put it in the hearth. I blessed the candle in the names of our Lady and Lord, and sealed it in their oil. So why all the candle work when there are so many options? Simply put, they do not need any attention once lit, I am quite fond of setting lights, and I really liked the idea of having something burning in the literal hearth and symbolically. Plus, there was other work done, I just ain’t talking about it here; nine months of work is a lot to write out.

I went to bed early, as I had been doing for about a week. Both times that my wife had previous gone into labor it had been in the middle of the night… and was promptly awoken between midnight and zero one. By two any doubt about whether labor had arrived or not had been banished and phone calls were made to the midwife and two good friends that would be part of the team assembled.

Now that we were consciously recognizing labor and not just hoping for it to pick up and go, the wife did some quick labor has begun ritual stuff at the hearth and was replaced by me. I kindled my Esbat prepped candle. Look a picture (sadly the only one going on the blog):

The midwife was the first to arrive and started laying out what was to be needed and prepping all the various just in case items. The assistant was next, whom started setting up the tub in the next room. The sink attachment and I had a minor disagreement about whether or not it was going to function the way it was supposed to, and as I had already tested it for, in the end a bit of tape and determination came through and it complied. It is now in the trashcan in the queue for disposal. Next a good friend of ours that had been present at our eldest’s birth and a fine priestess arrived and took over all ritual duties slash lending a hand where ever it needed. I mean that both figuratively, heating towels or fetching something, as well as literally, she is one fine massage therapist and put her talents to work on the back of a laboring woman counter pressuring contractions. The furthest living away, my wife’s best friend and a friend of mine, arrived last. At this point labor was still at a point where we all could chat very briefly between periods of contractions… all while the midwife and assistant did whatever it was they needed off in the background.

Suddenly two things happened at once, the tub was ready and my wife’s contractions were done with any resting in between business. So we got in the tub. Yup, we. My wife climbed in and so did I. Cause leaning over the side just wasn’t an option. For the next couple of hours I sat in the tub doing my best to help my wife to relax, while her best friend sat outside the tub giving you-own-this support, with our Priestess friend blasting Reiki (I was too… I mean I am a Reiki master so why not?), saying prayers, and heating towels in the microwave*, and midwife assistant worked to keep the tub water at the correct level through strategic use of boiling water on the stove in my stock pot. Now the midwife… she took a nap.

Yes, you read that correctly; the midwife crashed for 40 winks. First off, we are not mad, are happy she got some rest, and would like for you to please banish any negative thoughts or feelings you have in that arena towards her. Here is why. On Friday sometime another woman started labor and delivered around 4 in the afternoon on Sunday. The midwife went home and had only got a couple of hours sleep by the time I was telling her that her services were no longer required in some future tense but now. So with everyone doing their part, and her part not quite having arrived yet, she with our blessings took a nap with but one small interruption.

A couple of hours before the push, while in the tub soaking in Great Mother energies, I placed my hand on my wife back, as I had many times, but this time while she was moving, and it caused her to holler “Don’t push” in a very upset pregnant woman in a contraction kinda way. I fully understood. It just so happens that the word push is the only one that journeyed unto the Dreaming Road of the midwife, who bounded to her feet ready for action, but we explained and she sat back down.

Sitting in the tub, my primary focus was upon serving the needs of my wife and life through her. The nature of the birth changed upon climbing into a very large vessel of birthing. I will just say that my wife placed the pain upon her head as a crown and opened the archetypal world through the visceral plane and did so in a place of still silence. It brought on some very interesting energy swarming in regards to the threshold between. It was almost at the moment when I recognized this familiar place that my wife said she ‘needed’ to get out of the tub.

This heralded the midwife, who experience must have told the time was upon us, and people set to laying out blanks galore as her and I helped my wife from the tub. A quick check of my wife by the midwife confirmed that the baby was ready to come across this world by the river of blood within a boat of flesh.

My wife was helped into a bent over squat position whereby she used me to support herself. Then there was a major contraction and a bearing down. Another major contraction and a long hard push… this was followed by a second at which point the midwife said “grab your baby.” The midwife you must understand was half on her back and half on her side, with one arm extended under my wife supporting the baby descending into this world. Plus, a lot of women like to catch their own babies.
My wife just wasn’t in a position to with my supporting all her weight. So I grabbed her. It was a very surreal moment of awesomeness tempered by ‘oh shit she sure is slippery.’

I did not drop the baby. My wife was helped into a better position as I placed our daughter into her arms. All just as the sun rose.

My wife was turned and sat against me as the midwife focused upon her craft. Once the placenta was out and the cord tying the two had ceased pumping the baby was blessed and anointed with water from the Well of Kildare with a bit of rose therein. Our Priestess-friend did this and severed the cord with a blessing slash prayer of welcoming, birth, and blessedness.

From then on the focus turned to checking the baby, cleaning my wife, cleaning the house, and rejoicing in one another. Interestingly it was at this point that I noticed that my white candle had burned all the way down, and someone else remarked that they noticed it had only slightly burned down at the point when my wife was getting out the tub. Yay for magick.Thus is the story of how my youngest daughter entered this wondrous world of ours.

Boidh Se!

-Spanish Moss

“Lost in a thicket bare-foot upon a thorned path.”

*My wife REALLY liked having hot towels draped over her shoulders. So it was ordained.