I’ve been reflecting a lot about this blog. In all honesty, it has led me down a road I did not expect when I started, and I have learned many valuable lessons.
When I started, I did so because I miss teaching, and when my work with my Lady and my Lord led me to believe that this was the reason I was being nudged towards writing a blog I thought that this was why. Boy was I wrong. So even therein is a lesson; a gentle reminder that the plans of the Gods are not our own. Writing this blog to try and share what I have learned quickly turned into a poor substitute for teaching. I quickly became frustrated.
A few friends of mine that are writers had some simple advice. I shall now bestow it to whoever stumbles here. Write. Alright, there ya’ go. That was it. Now why is that important advice? Frankly because continuing to write has forced me to step into an inner place that was causing my frustration, a place I thought I had long since resolved. Alas, it seems my Lady and my Lord decided I needed to be reminded that I am human, have faults, and that no matter how much work I have put into my being; I remain with an ego, shadow, and dweller, and will not be parted from them until the initiation into death.
I have worked really hard to write something worth reading; to put the Traditionalists’ message out there. Our voice has been silent for a long time. This doesn’t mean we are gone, just silent. Keeping. There are lots of reasons for this, and I am not going to get into them. I will suggest that anyone reading this reflect upon why the trained and Initiated, regardless of the form of religious Witchcraft (TW, BTW, TIW, etc), have stepped back and become quite. I have written such because this is where I have been tugged by the divine tether. For a long time it felt like I was writing into a vast empty void and it was hard. It was hard because I have been writing about something very close and personal to me. It was hard because I worked hard and was not seeing any fruition. It was hard because I have been dipped back into the crucible and the current is shaking loose the foundation previously built. Suddenly all of that changed. In one fell swoop, a bit back, my effort became not about any of the things I thought or the unconscious need for approval and reward that our ego seeks; I was really clueless that this was occurring for a long time. Just looking at this has taken awhile. On that note, I hope I am not deluding myself even here.
In the oneness of that moment it became a mirror—a mirror that looking into and seeing the splendid along with the horrid is its own ambrosia. My writing this blog has been a reminder, a humbler, and a trail. I pray that this does not change. I am human, I am perfectly flawed, and I love every moment of it. The taste of what has been taught is indeed without compare; which I only scratch the surface of here. Even better yet, I know that the meal set before me is not over. Maybe later I will move onto other things, but for now writing is a part of the journey. Every now and then everyone needs a good slap upside the head.
"Lost in a thicket bare-footed upon a thorned path."